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Remembering a loved one at Christmas…

Are you looking for ways to remember your loved ones this Christmas?

It’s 1st December today and I always feel that once the Advent Calenders are out and being opened, it’s getting close to Christmas. My Mum died on 17th December 1996. She was only 52. I am 51 so I am feeling a bit ‘weird’ as I get closer to the same age that she was when she died. That’s another blog post!  She loved Christmas as she was so family-orientated. She enjoyed the fact that we were lucky enough, as a family, to be close which meant that we always got together over Christmas and she would definitely spoil my brother and I! She was also a Primary School teacher so the run up to Christmas for her class was always quite ‘full on’!  I therefore too enjoy the Christmas season, despite the over-commercialisation and I do recognise the pressures it can put on individuals, families and relationships.  I take the time to remember my Mum’s enjoyment of this time of year but also reflect on those less fortunate.

Whether you have recently suffered the loss of a loved one or whether it was a while ago, I am sure you are simply missing their presence. There are special ways of  honouring your loved one’s life, love and legacy at this time of year.

Candles: I light a candle every evening for my Mum. Candles are a very symbolic. They represent light in the sometimes darkness of life. You could choose one in your loved one’s favourite colour or in a fragrance that reminds you of them. She loved lavender and although that’s not a traditional Christmas smell, I do it all the same.

Presents: I know I can’t give my Mum her Christmas present any more but what I do is that I give a present in her name. It’s normally to a children’s charity (as she was so fond of children) and you can find these sorts of opportunities online. They are so grateful.

Baubles: It’s a lovely idea to create a bauble for your family’s Christmas tree that sums up your loved one. You can buy baubles in which you can place a photo of your loved one, or maybe consider a bauble that represents them in some sort of way. People say that when you see a robin, your loved one is near….

Twelve Days of Random Acts of Kindness:  Instead of the “Twelve Days of Christmas,” do “Twelve Days of Random Acts of Kindness”.  Each day, do one random act of kindness in your loved one’s name, such as paying for the coffee of the person standing behind you in line, or making an effort to talk to someone. Kindness is a wonderful way to celebrate the positive impact your loved one had on the world. I haven’t done this yet but I am starting today.

That’s just a few ideas that might help make this season more meaningful for you and not too sad. Celebrating a persons’ life and the impact that it had on yours is not just commemorating them but it can lift your spirits too and create positivity in the World.



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